The Battleground

Life is a battle; our souls are the battlegrounds. Our beliefs are the weapons; our faith is the strategy. And the enemy we fight against will stop at nothing to capture, torture, and darken our hearts. The battle is inevitable. It faces us the moment we wake. It faces us even in our dreams -- the darkness of doubt that questions our core beliefs and threatens our understanding of existence. Life is the fight to discover where we came from, who we are, our purpose, and our ultimate destination. It is a war only won or lost through death. Did you live and die knowing your Creator, your purpose, and your destination? Or did you chose to suffer in blackness, suffocating and dying by your own denial? Did you pursue the path set before you and protect your heart with weapons of truth? Or did you wander aimlessly through the blood-soaked war grounds, imagining away the conflict, and ignoring the enemy's stabs at your own heart? Have the courage to search your heart; feel its wounds and cry for the heartache that is anchored to your soul. Hold your shattered dreams, your bleeding ideals, and your shredded hopes, and tell me there is no fight. Yes, life is a battle...And we need a Savior.

This search for purity -- for true beauty -- is no exception from life's war. In all honesty, this journey could be the hardest battle ever encountered. Why? Because to understand that purity stands at the heart of beauty is to be victorious over many, many of life's conflicts. But I am getting ahead of myself. The battle for purity has not yet commenced, for we still stand on the battle ground of decision: will you begin this journey? Or will you stand on the field of indecision and let the enemy continue to steal pieces of your heart?

If you decide to commit to the fight for purity, consider my previous posts as necessary weapons for your armory. Consider them as preparations for the struggles that inevitably burden this road. Consider them as a strengthening for the fight ahead. But regard this post as a warning. A warning that bears the unpleasant duty of relaying the dangers to come. And yet, regard it also as a challenge -- a challenge that will require nothing less than your whole heart. Because that's what this journey is about: your heart and what you will do to protect its beauty.

Still with me? Good. Let's begin:

Perspective is essential to success. Caution your mind against wandering away from the truth, or exchanging the truth for weak substitutes. And this, my dear friends, is where the battle begins: How will you arm yourself? What truths will you attempt to deny? And what compromises will you try to lean on? You know that you have been wonderfully created and that you are nothing less than beautiful in God's sight; take this truth and fasten it to your heart. You know that you are cherished, loved, and sought after by a Savior; allow this truth to be your shield. You have discovered that you deserve honor and respect, that you are a child of the Most High God and, accordingly, no man has any right to treat you differently. Will you hold onto this truth and wield with confidence?Also, your heart and your body belong to God and God alone -- the Creator who formed every fiber of your being. Bind this truth to your soul and commit it to your memory. And finally, Christ's grace is there to catch you every time you falter. Perfection is not a requirement -- but a Savior is. Anchor this truth to your core and permit nothing to sway it.

Let nothing distort or weaken the fact of who you truly are. Permit no one to confuse your purpose. Refuse to be ashamed. Shatter self-condemnation against Christ's sword of redemption. And pursue this adventure of purity and beauty with passion and confidence. This is your armory. Will you dare to use it?

This is the war. Will you dare to fight it? This is the challenge. Will you accept? This is the battle ground of life. Will you take Jesus' Hand and embrace the fearlessness of being beautiful?

Redefining Beauty

What enters your mind when you consider the term 'beautiful'? For me, it's the things I am NOT, the things I DON'T have: 0% body fat, flawless skin, perfect hair, a straight nose and the list goes on...But I have to catch myself. I have to re-evaluate the term 'beautiful' on a higher level. To be precise, I need to define 'beauty' for what it really is, not for what I think it ought to be, or for what society claims it to be. I need to trash my pre-conceived notions and ask the Creator of beauty what He meant it to be.

"Beauty does not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair, the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." 1 Peter 3:3-4

The everlasting beauty of gentleness and quietness. Not the normal terms associated with beauty, are they? So what is their value? What connection does gentleness have with being pretty or maintaining an inward beauty? How does quietness transform into being attractive? Let me take a shot at answering...

I mentioned in an earlier post that us girls often struggle to stay above the noise of our hearts, the questions that scream at us when we look in the mirror: "Am I beautiful?" "Do boys find me attractive?" "What do I need to fix?" "How can I look more appealing?" So many questions. So many doubts. So much inner chaos -- chaos that influences our outward actions and perpetuates certain behaviors. If we are insecure in ourselves (i.e., if we don't find a satisfying answer to our heart's questions), that insecurity often transforms into flirty, attention-seeking behavior. We laugh louder, smile bigger, wear higher heels, lower tops, or dramatic make-up. We exchange a natural look for something....bigger; something much more demanding. But imagine if we could quiet the inner chaos, if the doubts that drown us in self-condemnation were defeated by an an eternal answer of "Yes, you ARE beautiful!" Imagine the peace that we would have within ourselves -- the start of a gentle and quiet spirit.

But what is the answer? Where is that confident, resounding response that beats with our own hearts, telling us that we are lovely? Oh, the answer's there. But the true question is this: will you let yourself believe it? When God created the first woman, He called her 'good.' He created her fearfully, with respect, admiration and honor; and He created her wonderfully. (Psalm 139:14) God's truths fight our screaming questions with a gentle whisper, "I made you for my glory. I found you lovely and I loved you. I found you beautiful and I died for you.I found you imperfect so I saved you. I found you beyond compare so I desire to spend eternity with you."

Beyond compare...think about that. Let that quiet the rage inside of you. Let God's desire for you tear you away from the desire to conform to another standard of beauty. Let His passion for you be a peace you have in yourself. Let God's love be your confidence in who you are. Let His satisfaction in your creation be the ultimate answer to any doubt of your worth. But above all, embrace the gentleness and quietness that comes with embracing Christ's love...and let it redefine your beauty.

An Introduction

To whoever may read this:

At the request of several girls, I have dedicated this Blog to the pursuit of understanding and defining purity; or, rather, the center of beauty.

In a world pursuing sensuality and seduction, the search for true beauty becomes confusing, even hopeless at times. "Am I beautiful?" "Am I attractive?" "What is beautiful?" "What is not?" "Does it even matter?" These questions stir in the heart of every girl -- they torture, taunt, and tear us apart. They leave us insecure, afraid, and weak. And we become susceptible to the world's cure: lose weight, tone up, get extensions, implants, liposuction; wear make-up, low-cut tops, tight pants, short skirts, high-heels, and push-up bras. What the hell? Since when does advertising our body in such a manner qualify as beautiful? In fifty years, all that effort will have gone to waste anyway; so if true beauty lasts, we can quickly say that none of the world's solutions are valid options.

With that eliminated, the next question is, "what DOES last?" Your character, your heart, and your mind. (You may be thinking, "but boys don't go for that!" Oh, I'm sorry, but we're not here to attract womanizers. And if you advertise your body in a seductive manner, that's the type of guys that will follow you -- shallow men who have little ability [or will] to see past physical attraction. As I pointed out earlier, what good is that in fifty years? What stability, what romance, and what happiness can that offer you?) Honey, if you want the real things in life, the real things -- the things that last -- are what you need to invest in. And that's what this journey is all about. That's what this Blog is dedicated to. And that's what I'm willing to fight for: real beauty. Beauty that lasts.

To My Girls: The Importance of Being Real

(Some thoughts and realizations that ran through my mind this week after my own personal struggles and watching the struggles of others. Hope it helps)

To my girls:

“A pretty face? A pretty smile? – You must run into a lot of trouble with guys.”

People’s assumptions never cease to amaze me. The answer is quite simple: no, I don’t. I don’t because I make a conscious effort to be open, honest; to reveal the heart and soul hidden behind the face. Doesn’t sound like a bad thing does it? Well, apparently it’s quite intimidating. Being real scares people. Honesty scares people.

Being real works like a showcase of firearms. Oh, guys don’t mind hanging around when you’re modeling evening gowns and prom dresses; but display the dangers of your soul – high standards, daunting expectations, self-confidence, and independence – and most of them slink off. The after-effects? Girls quickly place their hearts under lock and key, exchanging honesty for a less intimidating presentation. We leave our true desires to rust in the darkness of self-condemnation and bring forth an ideal influenced by the desires of others – the expectations of men. Instead of fearlessly embracing honesty and watching (perhaps with a little amusement) as boys sneak away, we water-down our passions and try not to scare them off. We change who we appear to be in order to please the presumptions of society. In essence: we no longer stand by our guns.

Since when are women responsible for making themselves accessible and easy; since when do men have the luxury of shedding off their duty of being a courageous knight in shining armor? Think about it. Your heart, your passions, standards, expectations, and confidence were instilled in you by a God who admired such qualities. What right do you have to hide these things away and exchange them for things you are not? Flirtatious, manipulative, co-dependent, shallow, false, deceptive, flippant, bitter, and resentful are examples of what God did NOT create in you. “Oh, I’m just naturally flirty.” Bull. “But I NEED people – I live for people.” Bull again. “I play games because I’ve been hurt too many times to be real.” Oh, really? You were made fearfully (with respect, admiration, and honor) and wonderfully (with goodness, wholeness, and strength), created for God and God alone (Psalm 139:14). God is your ultimate standard – not men, not people. Honesty is the requirement – not social expectations.

So, why do we make ourselves responsible for the way men respond to our honesty? Because we desire male approval. We condemn ourselves as worthless when our firearm showcase scares off a guy or two. It hurts when our realness frightens instead of attracts. And we are disappointed because we have set our hearts on the whims of boys instead of pursuing the adventure God has placed before us. My heart breaks when a girl does not understand how much she is worth: God loves her, wants to rescue her; He died for her. Why? Because He saw the beautiful woman He created her to be – fearlessly honesty, with high standards, daunting expectations, and a desire to be pure – and He loved it. All of it. And yet we girls forget this and exchange His love for the pursuit of human approval. We submit our hearts to the inspection of men who do not understand us, instead of offering our hearts to the God who created them. What other result can there be besides misunderstanding and heartache?

I’m not saying that you should never fall in love. And I’m not saying that you should hide yourself away from the male population. What I am saying is this: be the girl God created you to be without the search for human approval. Be fearless in your dreams, desires, and passions. Hold your expectations high and your standards even higher. Be honest. Be real. Pursue integrity. Hold fast to purity. Trust me…the right man won’t be intimidated. And the rest of them who run away aren’t worth the trouble of pretending.

Your Self-Worth

I've been reading Ayn Rand's classic, Atlas Shrugged. It's an interesting book because it discusses many tendencies we have as humans; some economical, some philosophical, philanthropical, and some emotional. But here's one that had me utterly captivated: the difference between inner cause and outer effect.

Why do we pursue certain goals? Because we have established in ourselves the desire to do so. I find myself diplomatically-inclined, interested in politics, and eager to travel. My inner desires determine my outward actions: pursuing an education with Patrick Henry College in International Policy and Politics. I have passion to lead and a heart for preserving purity; I have become a leader in the explorer program and I surround myself with girls seeking direction and help. Cause. Effect. Desire. Action. Obvious, right?

Well, what happens when we reverse the two? What happens when the inner cause no longer determines bodily action; rather, it is bodily action that attempts to attain some sort of inner desire? I can tell you what happens -- a mess. A mess that resembles today's society to incredible precision. Teenagers no longer look to themselves or to a Higher-Source to determine their self-esteem. Instead, society encourages us to seek money, relationships, sexual activities, and addictions in order to determine our self-worth. Our actions begin to determine our inner elements. Girls no longer establish within themselves their value and pursue purity and righteousness because they deserve it -- they pursue boys and relationships to indicate their value and to see what they deserve. It's cause and effect reversed. Boys no longer view themselves as fighters, as protectors of what is right; they don't believe they have what it takes to stay clean, morally upright, and courageous. So, they fight, lie, curse, and revel in pornography and sensual behavior to tell them who they are and to determine their masculinity. The perspective has changed. We no longer look to our hearts, our minds, our intellect, our God to tell us who we already are and what we should become. No. We look to the world and ask what we should do in order to become someone -- to discover who we are.

Where does that leave us? "No, I won't go to college because I won't succeed." "No, I won't make a life-time commitment because I will fail." "No, I won't maintain my purity because it doesn't mean anything." "No, I won't give up pornography because it tells me I'm a man." "No, I won't strive for honesty because I'm not strong enough to face the truth." Since when did humanity fall to the dictatorship of dead-ends? When did we allow ourselves to be bound by what we do instead of what we want? I can tell you: the moment we exchange who God says we are for the results of our actions...The moment we act to determine our worth instead of letting our worth determine our actions.

· Ephesians one:

· You are a saint

· You are blessed with every spiritual blessing

· You are chosen by God

· You are holy

· You are blameless

· You are loved

· You have been given grace

· You are redeemed

· You are forgiven

· You have been lavished with riches

· You have been given a purpose

· You are marked with His everlasting seal.

Let it be these things that determine your actions. Let these be the cause, the drive behind all you do