If Hearts Had Faces

There's nothing quite as relaxing on a Monday as sipping a cup of tea while sitting in the garden and enjoying the summer sun. But what makes this Monday even better is that I'm still in my pajamas. Hair up. Makeup off. And it's almost 1 o'clock in the afternoon. Normally, I'd be out the door by 8 o'clock in the morning, drinking coffee while racing through the California traffic to get to work. On those mornings, I'm in high-heels and a pencil-skirt. Hair done. Makeup on. But not this morning. This Monday is different -- I'm just me.

As creatures of vanity we often enslave ourselves to the never-ending task of covering up our flaws. It's a thankless job, really. I can walk into the store after work wearing business attire and I receive suspicious glances and flat-out glares. Most commonly, I receive the critical 'once-over' from other women. Yes, I suppose I look like I am trying too hard, like I spend too much time doing my hair (and in all honesty, I probably do...). But then sometimes I just throw on sweats and flip-flips: you know, the cliche image, "sweats, not skinny jeans; hoodies, not tank-tops; messy hairstyle, no makeup." It's an image that society has promoted over and over again in order to rediscover authenticity. But even then, I receive the raised eye-brows and the glances of disapproval. It's a lose-lose game that we play -- vanity always is. No matter how much effort we invest into our physical appearance (whether to look pretty or down-to-earth) we fail to achieve a universally accepted image of "beauty." Like I said, it's a thankless job.

Vain investments into physical appearance have very little to do with beauty. And vain attempts to down-play physical appearance has very little to do with authenticity. Whether high-heels and makeup or flip-flops and messy buns, the erroneous assumption in both approaches is that the physical image is definitive of the person. In either case, we can manipulate our appearance to portray a certain image -- to showcase something we think is desirable. But does someone's physical appearance determine personality, does it define character, can it reveal the inner-depths of someone's heart? The answer is no, it doesn't. It can't. Our physical image can never serve as an honest portrayal of who we really are...And perhaps we should be thankful for that. 

My inner pragmatist has always valued Margaret Thatcher's statement, "to wear one's heart on one's sleeve is never a good idea. One should wear it inside where it functions best." Humans naturally keep issues of the heart tucked away; as creatures of vanity, we desire to hide the imperfections embedded in our nature. But, perhaps, the very idea of hiding away our hearts and its problems is replacing the idea of searching out our hearts and finding a cure for its ailments. And yes, your heart is desperately sick: "The heart is deceitful above all things; who can understand it?" "From within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, and foolishness. All these evils come from within a defile a person" (Jeremiah 17:9; Mark 7:21-31). Imagine wearing that on your sleeve...

Imagine if you could no longer hide behind the impenetrable veil of human skin. What if you had no other option but to walk around inside-out? What if every face was the face of the heart? Everyone could see everyone else for what they truly are -- defiled. No hiding. No possible way to conceal the sins that disease and deform. If hearts had faces, no smile, no personality, no beauty could veil the brokenness of the human condition. No physical perfection could cover the degradation of the human heart. Every evil thought, every sexual weakness, every foolish game, every mask of vanity exposed and shattered. 

Our hearts bear blemishes that cannot be hidden. So, I question myself: what if I all I had to face in the mirror was my soul; what if all I could wear was my heart on my sleeve? With every physical barrier removed, you are forced to examine yourself with brutal honesty. When we face our hearts, we are forced to see what is truly there: Sin. 


If it's any comfort, the sinful condition is absolutely authentic. It's real. There's nothing fake about it. It's definitely not a false front...But it's definitely not beautiful.


So, vanity - the man-made pursuit of beauty - is a delusion of ideals; it is a fruitless investment. Vanity leads to a battle in which there can never be a victory. Why? Because as I fight for a certain physical image I am enslaved to a life-long fight of fantasy, dishonesty, and idolatry. I am denying the malady of my heart and the reality of my spiritual condition. And while I strive to achieve the qualities of an outward appearance, I am refusing to acknowledge the one thing that matters to my Creator -- my heart. While we invest, evaluate, and judge based on physicality, God invests, evaluates, and judges us based on our hearts. "The Lord does not look at the things man does. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart" (1 Samuel 16:7). So in the pursuit of vanity there is an absolute absence of God -- of truth, and of reality. Vanity denies the values and qualities that are precious to God. Simply put, it is man's attempt to reach a state of godliness while denying a state of sinfulness. It is a counterfeit for true beauty.

While we judge one another for physical imperfections and condemn one another for character flaws, God offers us redemption. He sees the broken heart, its deformity and its disease. He sees the sin that ravages us and leaves us bruised and scarred. We are not creatures of beauty -- yet the Creator sees us a creatures worth saving. God says, "I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols. I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh" (Ezekiel 36: 24 -26). A beautiful heart is God's gift, not something we can achieve.


To describe it in girls' terms: What if, instead of choosing from an array of makeup and clothing, we had to wear our character? What if, instead of maturing into the graceful figure of a woman, we were formed by the moral decisions we have made?...Then beauty would be a hopeless endeavor. But what if we accepted God's gift of redemption and purification? What would a heart look like completely covered by His grace?    


So, as I sit here sipping my fifth cup of tea, I can't help but wonder what I would see if every heart had a face...


"Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me" (Psalm 51:10).

The Need for A Saviour

Marching to the battlegrounds, gearing-up for a fight, wrestling with insincerity, dishonesty, and games...Yes, it is exhausting. Battling for truth drains energy more swiftly than any other fight known to humanity. Why? Because fighting for truth not only requires soldiers to stand against the enemy, but against their own hearts -- against the compromise, the weaknesses, and the lies instilled within their own minds. A soldier, must not only determine to conquer the enemy with truth, but also determine to hold on to the truth from beginning to end, despite weakness, imperfections, and doubts. The double-battle brings weariness quickly. It brings fatigue. It brings exhaustion. And the prison of stagnant exhaustion -- of weariness, fear, and doubt -- holds so many hearts captive.

Exhaustion holds the most vulnerable and the most pivotal point in any battle. I've been there. You've been there; you may even be there now. It is that ice-gold grip over your heart, screaming that you can go no further, that you have little left to give. Exhaustion envelopes your heart, sighing that the war is hopeless, whispering that there are no rays of hope, no light of success beyond the dark clouds of reality. Heaviness blankets your soul, dulling your weapons, slowing your feet, and confusing your mind. Yes, exhaustion comes only too readily when you decide to fight against sin and against impurity, weakening your desire to wield the truth in fearlessness and in power. Your defense mechanism slows. And you begin to doubt. But the doubt only wearies a soldier further -- eroding reason, attacking any resolve to stand firm in truth. Questions berate the protective armor you have already begun to remove: "Why am I fighting again?" "Why am I putting my neck on this guillotine?" "For what?" "Truth? Do I even know that I'm fighting for truth?" "Compromise? What's wrong with compromise?" "Can compromise really hurt me any worse than this?" "Virtue? What's virtue got to do with anything?" "How is purity any part of this?" "Is this fight even necessary?" "Is this battle even real?" .....Exhaustion. Doubt. Questions. Compromise. Circumstances become unclear as you grope for reality. Exhaustion becomes heavier, darker -- foreshadowing the coming of a choice.

Too often weariness and tiredness dictate the end of a struggle. The fight no longer pivots on the reason behind the war, the wrong or the right; rather, the fight becomes centered on strength, or the lack of it. Feelings -- weak, susceptible to deception -- dilute perspective. Relying on feelings intoxicates reason and judgment. Misplaced feelings tear apart the purpose behind the war for beauty, shattering it to reflect whatever the feelings desire to see: inevitable failure, hopelessness, uselessness, compromise. Feelings will mirror weakness, weariness, exhaustion, confusion, folly. "You are tired; quit while you still live." "This battle is trapping you, confusing you; make an escape." "You are losing; offer compromise." "You are alone; surrender." "You are fighting for the wrong side; give up." Feelings remain confined by circumstances. Misplace them and they will lead to foolishness -- decisions based on neither reason nor perspective. Follow them and they will offer a burning platform, standing a midst the flames of flawed instinct and imperfect human-judgment. And yet from this platform, instinct insists that all is well: removing the heavy armor feels better, lighter; laying down the weapons feels calming, peaceful; compromise feels safe. Surrender feels almost joyful. In fact, it almost feels right.

But what is so wrong about surrendering to exhaustion, to even feelings themselves? They are created by God, right? Instilled with a purpose, yes? Yes, yes they are. But like all things in this broken world, feelings are diseased. Disassociate them from the perfection of their Creator and they are diseased further still. Separate feelings from their divine intention, and they will experience a death of goodness altogether. When emotions compel reason instead of being reigned in by reason, the balance of the human heart is upset, perspective is lost, and the mind can no longer see things for what they truly are. How can it when feelings have distorted rationale and thrown the soul into anarchy? Through the eyes of emotions, exhaustion becomes failure; truth becomes subjective; compromise becomes good; and the whispers of the enemy no longer seem like weapons intended for destruction -- they feel sweet. They feel like answers to the doubts, healing to the wounds. "No, this battle does not need to be fought. There is no battle." "No, nothing here is at stake." "Life wasn't meant to be a war. Doesn't fighting feel wrong?" "Life is so much better apart from fighting." "Purity? What? Who has the right to tell you what is pure for you and what is impure? Only you can feel what is wrong or right for you." On the platform of misplaced feelings, fighting seems useless. Purity -- worthless.

The danger of exhaustion is not in exhaustion itself but in its rapid development into apathy. Likewise, the sin does not reside in growing weary, but in permitting that weariness to conquer us. Why is that a sin? What ability do we have to conquer our own exhaustion and to remain steadfast against the enemy? Think: Who has been standing by your side from the moment you determined to begin this battle? Who blessed you with truths as weapons, with faith and salvation as armor? You feel alone. But are you, really? Or have you neglected your greatest Weapon, your greatest Hope of all? This is the question that exhaustion reveals. And this is the choice that arises the very second weakness steps on to the battlefield: Will you surrender to weakness, or will you seek Christ's strength? Will you fear failure and compromise, or beg for God's renewal? Will you remove the heavy armor, or ask God to fight for you? Will you fall to your own limitations? Will you pretend that you don't need help, or will you admit that you need a Saviour? The answers to these questions determine the outcome of the battle. Not your imperfections. Not your fear. Not your feelings. Not your weakness. Not your exhaustion.

Purity cannot be won through imperfection. Beauty cannot be seen through the eyes of misplaced feelings. And victory cannot be achieved without weapons and armor. Compromise the values at stake -- integrity, honesty, and purity -- and you will lose. Ignore the truth and you will stumble. Rely on your own judgment and you will fall. You will fall to exhaustion and you will quit the fight for righteousness. And as you surrender to the temptations of men, you will break your own heart. You will break God's heart.....He is waiting to save you. He is wanting to redeem you. He passionate for your purity. He is enthralled by your beauty. You are His desire. He loves you. So don't surrender your purity when He is ready to fight for you. Don't be afraid to fall when He is eager to carry you. But above all, don't walk on to this battlefield alone when your heart cries out for a Saviour.

"Come to Me all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." - Matthew 11:28

The Game

As I've fought the battles of this week, my mind has wandered down memory lane, reminiscing some of my previous fights for purity, for integrity. The pain of these past struggles has become more acute as I watch girls surrender in the same fights, exchanging the rules of integrity for the nonchalance of games. To some, life is just a game; insincerity raises the value; innocent hearts supply the currency; and avoiding exposure stands as the only rule. Yes, I am only too familiar with this setting: I've played the game and the beginning looks a little like this...

He's cute. He pays you a compliment. You're flattered. You want another one. But there's just something a little too atrocious about saying 'thank you' and leaving the rest up to the guy. No, that's much too simple. So you add just a touch more flirtation to your response -- something to give a little edge to the situation and offer a little encouragement. And it doesn't stop there. The next move requires a fishing line and plenty of hooks with seduction as bait. You like the way this guy talks to you, the way he makes you feel, so you'll want to keep him around with little regard to what it'll take to reel him in. Your flirtation earns additional flattery; and your returning flattery earns an element of seriousness from the cute guy. Of course, you brush off this seriousness and sincerity as useless and inconvenient. You're not after sincerity; your game would shatter as soon as sincerity began to play a role. However, the guy's seriousness doesn't fade -- he begins his own fishing, searching, wondering if you could be the girl of his dreams. He plays the fiddle and you dance to whatever tune he makes, drawing him in as you subtly suggest that you will play whatever hand he can deal you. Your performance improves with each song. The guy's impressed. His approval flatters you. And the game continues on a little while longer...

But only a little while: His approval transitions into action. He's being real. He's being sincere. And you freak. The game begins to collapse as the guys steps forward, attempting a victory over your heart, reaching for something deeper than flirtation and a merry dance. But there's a problem: there were never any suits of hearts in this deck -- at least not for you. His advancements in sincerity demand a progression in yours -- something you were never willing to give. It's a new tune, one you won't dance to. It's a game turned real. You fold. Things were never supposed to get so out-of-hand.

We've all been guilty of performing these scenes. And I'll be the first to admit that it's an act I've had plenty of experience in. That's why I recognize it in the lives of others so swiftly; believe me, I have all the lines memorized. Please do not mistake my ready admittance for pride. No, discussing my past rebellions pains me. It angers me. What right do I have to treat love, life, and people so flippantly? What exception do I possess that exempts me from God's standards of integrity? None. None whatsoever. I am guilty of toying with hearts, created and cherished by God. I am guilty of vandalism. I am guilty of tempting others into my games, leading hearts away from their Creator. I am guilty of theft. When I fold, when I disappear as the game comes to an end, I leave others crushed, hurt, and bleeding.

Life is anything but a game. Boys' hearts are so much more than a toy. They themselves are worth more than what your silly flirtation demeans them to be. Consider the earlier post, "Your Self-Worth"; what right do you have to play with something that God created, died for, and loves so dearly? Consider another one: "The Importance of Being Real"; what right do you have to cheapen your own ability of love and influence by playing games? None. None whatsoever. Life is not a game. This battle for purity is anything but surreal. Hearts are at stake. Your integrity, your character, and your own purity demand that you rise to their standards. Your Creator, your God demands that you hold yourself accountable as a princess and as a warrioress. The battle for your bodies, hearts, and minds will not cease as you play petty games. Pretending will not offer an escape from reality. And folding from one round only to enter into another will not save you from the consequences of toying with God and His creations. He will protect what He has made; He will fortify what He loves; He will honor His promise of vengeance. Do not set your sword against God or your stakes against His. To you, life may be a game, but to Him, life is a matter of love -- and love is a matter worthy of either life or death.

Remember that you are not bound to the circumstances or the games you create. Break the rules. Let yourself be caught; do not be afraid of exposure. Stick to your guns, hold fast to integrity, cling to honesty and purity, and know that Jesus will come to your rescue. He cherishes your heart. He will stop at nothing to protect it, even from yourself, even from your silly games. So, gear up for battle with confidence, but with reverence. The fight is real and your very life is at stake.

The Battleground

Life is a battle; our souls are the battlegrounds. Our beliefs are the weapons; our faith is the strategy. And the enemy we fight against will stop at nothing to capture, torture, and darken our hearts. The battle is inevitable. It faces us the moment we wake. It faces us even in our dreams -- the darkness of doubt that questions our core beliefs and threatens our understanding of existence. Life is the fight to discover where we came from, who we are, our purpose, and our ultimate destination. It is a war only won or lost through death. Did you live and die knowing your Creator, your purpose, and your destination? Or did you chose to suffer in blackness, suffocating and dying by your own denial? Did you pursue the path set before you and protect your heart with weapons of truth? Or did you wander aimlessly through the blood-soaked war grounds, imagining away the conflict, and ignoring the enemy's stabs at your own heart? Have the courage to search your heart; feel its wounds and cry for the heartache that is anchored to your soul. Hold your shattered dreams, your bleeding ideals, and your shredded hopes, and tell me there is no fight. Yes, life is a battle...And we need a Savior.

This search for purity -- for true beauty -- is no exception from life's war. In all honesty, this journey could be the hardest battle ever encountered. Why? Because to understand that purity stands at the heart of beauty is to be victorious over many, many of life's conflicts. But I am getting ahead of myself. The battle for purity has not yet commenced, for we still stand on the battle ground of decision: will you begin this journey? Or will you stand on the field of indecision and let the enemy continue to steal pieces of your heart?

If you decide to commit to the fight for purity, consider my previous posts as necessary weapons for your armory. Consider them as preparations for the struggles that inevitably burden this road. Consider them as a strengthening for the fight ahead. But regard this post as a warning. A warning that bears the unpleasant duty of relaying the dangers to come. And yet, regard it also as a challenge -- a challenge that will require nothing less than your whole heart. Because that's what this journey is about: your heart and what you will do to protect its beauty.

Still with me? Good. Let's begin:

Perspective is essential to success. Caution your mind against wandering away from the truth, or exchanging the truth for weak substitutes. And this, my dear friends, is where the battle begins: How will you arm yourself? What truths will you attempt to deny? And what compromises will you try to lean on? You know that you have been wonderfully created and that you are nothing less than beautiful in God's sight; take this truth and fasten it to your heart. You know that you are cherished, loved, and sought after by a Savior; allow this truth to be your shield. You have discovered that you deserve honor and respect, that you are a child of the Most High God and, accordingly, no man has any right to treat you differently. Will you hold onto this truth and wield with confidence?Also, your heart and your body belong to God and God alone -- the Creator who formed every fiber of your being. Bind this truth to your soul and commit it to your memory. And finally, Christ's grace is there to catch you every time you falter. Perfection is not a requirement -- but a Savior is. Anchor this truth to your core and permit nothing to sway it.

Let nothing distort or weaken the fact of who you truly are. Permit no one to confuse your purpose. Refuse to be ashamed. Shatter self-condemnation against Christ's sword of redemption. And pursue this adventure of purity and beauty with passion and confidence. This is your armory. Will you dare to use it?

This is the war. Will you dare to fight it? This is the challenge. Will you accept? This is the battle ground of life. Will you take Jesus' Hand and embrace the fearlessness of being beautiful?

Redefining Beauty

What enters your mind when you consider the term 'beautiful'? For me, it's the things I am NOT, the things I DON'T have: 0% body fat, flawless skin, perfect hair, a straight nose and the list goes on...But I have to catch myself. I have to re-evaluate the term 'beautiful' on a higher level. To be precise, I need to define 'beauty' for what it really is, not for what I think it ought to be, or for what society claims it to be. I need to trash my pre-conceived notions and ask the Creator of beauty what He meant it to be.

"Beauty does not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair, the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." 1 Peter 3:3-4

The everlasting beauty of gentleness and quietness. Not the normal terms associated with beauty, are they? So what is their value? What connection does gentleness have with being pretty or maintaining an inward beauty? How does quietness transform into being attractive? Let me take a shot at answering...

I mentioned in an earlier post that us girls often struggle to stay above the noise of our hearts, the questions that scream at us when we look in the mirror: "Am I beautiful?" "Do boys find me attractive?" "What do I need to fix?" "How can I look more appealing?" So many questions. So many doubts. So much inner chaos -- chaos that influences our outward actions and perpetuates certain behaviors. If we are insecure in ourselves (i.e., if we don't find a satisfying answer to our heart's questions), that insecurity often transforms into flirty, attention-seeking behavior. We laugh louder, smile bigger, wear higher heels, lower tops, or dramatic make-up. We exchange a natural look for something....bigger; something much more demanding. But imagine if we could quiet the inner chaos, if the doubts that drown us in self-condemnation were defeated by an an eternal answer of "Yes, you ARE beautiful!" Imagine the peace that we would have within ourselves -- the start of a gentle and quiet spirit.

But what is the answer? Where is that confident, resounding response that beats with our own hearts, telling us that we are lovely? Oh, the answer's there. But the true question is this: will you let yourself believe it? When God created the first woman, He called her 'good.' He created her fearfully, with respect, admiration and honor; and He created her wonderfully. (Psalm 139:14) God's truths fight our screaming questions with a gentle whisper, "I made you for my glory. I found you lovely and I loved you. I found you beautiful and I died for you.I found you imperfect so I saved you. I found you beyond compare so I desire to spend eternity with you."

Beyond compare...think about that. Let that quiet the rage inside of you. Let God's desire for you tear you away from the desire to conform to another standard of beauty. Let His passion for you be a peace you have in yourself. Let God's love be your confidence in who you are. Let His satisfaction in your creation be the ultimate answer to any doubt of your worth. But above all, embrace the gentleness and quietness that comes with embracing Christ's love...and let it redefine your beauty.

An Introduction

To whoever may read this:

At the request of several girls, I have dedicated this Blog to the pursuit of understanding and defining purity; or, rather, the center of beauty.

In a world pursuing sensuality and seduction, the search for true beauty becomes confusing, even hopeless at times. "Am I beautiful?" "Am I attractive?" "What is beautiful?" "What is not?" "Does it even matter?" These questions stir in the heart of every girl -- they torture, taunt, and tear us apart. They leave us insecure, afraid, and weak. And we become susceptible to the world's cure: lose weight, tone up, get extensions, implants, liposuction; wear make-up, low-cut tops, tight pants, short skirts, high-heels, and push-up bras. What the hell? Since when does advertising our body in such a manner qualify as beautiful? In fifty years, all that effort will have gone to waste anyway; so if true beauty lasts, we can quickly say that none of the world's solutions are valid options.

With that eliminated, the next question is, "what DOES last?" Your character, your heart, and your mind. (You may be thinking, "but boys don't go for that!" Oh, I'm sorry, but we're not here to attract womanizers. And if you advertise your body in a seductive manner, that's the type of guys that will follow you -- shallow men who have little ability [or will] to see past physical attraction. As I pointed out earlier, what good is that in fifty years? What stability, what romance, and what happiness can that offer you?) Honey, if you want the real things in life, the real things -- the things that last -- are what you need to invest in. And that's what this journey is all about. That's what this Blog is dedicated to. And that's what I'm willing to fight for: real beauty. Beauty that lasts.

To My Girls: The Importance of Being Real

(Some thoughts and realizations that ran through my mind this week after my own personal struggles and watching the struggles of others. Hope it helps)

To my girls:

“A pretty face? A pretty smile? – You must run into a lot of trouble with guys.”

People’s assumptions never cease to amaze me. The answer is quite simple: no, I don’t. I don’t because I make a conscious effort to be open, honest; to reveal the heart and soul hidden behind the face. Doesn’t sound like a bad thing does it? Well, apparently it’s quite intimidating. Being real scares people. Honesty scares people.

Being real works like a showcase of firearms. Oh, guys don’t mind hanging around when you’re modeling evening gowns and prom dresses; but display the dangers of your soul – high standards, daunting expectations, self-confidence, and independence – and most of them slink off. The after-effects? Girls quickly place their hearts under lock and key, exchanging honesty for a less intimidating presentation. We leave our true desires to rust in the darkness of self-condemnation and bring forth an ideal influenced by the desires of others – the expectations of men. Instead of fearlessly embracing honesty and watching (perhaps with a little amusement) as boys sneak away, we water-down our passions and try not to scare them off. We change who we appear to be in order to please the presumptions of society. In essence: we no longer stand by our guns.

Since when are women responsible for making themselves accessible and easy; since when do men have the luxury of shedding off their duty of being a courageous knight in shining armor? Think about it. Your heart, your passions, standards, expectations, and confidence were instilled in you by a God who admired such qualities. What right do you have to hide these things away and exchange them for things you are not? Flirtatious, manipulative, co-dependent, shallow, false, deceptive, flippant, bitter, and resentful are examples of what God did NOT create in you. “Oh, I’m just naturally flirty.” Bull. “But I NEED people – I live for people.” Bull again. “I play games because I’ve been hurt too many times to be real.” Oh, really? You were made fearfully (with respect, admiration, and honor) and wonderfully (with goodness, wholeness, and strength), created for God and God alone (Psalm 139:14). God is your ultimate standard – not men, not people. Honesty is the requirement – not social expectations.

So, why do we make ourselves responsible for the way men respond to our honesty? Because we desire male approval. We condemn ourselves as worthless when our firearm showcase scares off a guy or two. It hurts when our realness frightens instead of attracts. And we are disappointed because we have set our hearts on the whims of boys instead of pursuing the adventure God has placed before us. My heart breaks when a girl does not understand how much she is worth: God loves her, wants to rescue her; He died for her. Why? Because He saw the beautiful woman He created her to be – fearlessly honesty, with high standards, daunting expectations, and a desire to be pure – and He loved it. All of it. And yet we girls forget this and exchange His love for the pursuit of human approval. We submit our hearts to the inspection of men who do not understand us, instead of offering our hearts to the God who created them. What other result can there be besides misunderstanding and heartache?

I’m not saying that you should never fall in love. And I’m not saying that you should hide yourself away from the male population. What I am saying is this: be the girl God created you to be without the search for human approval. Be fearless in your dreams, desires, and passions. Hold your expectations high and your standards even higher. Be honest. Be real. Pursue integrity. Hold fast to purity. Trust me…the right man won’t be intimidated. And the rest of them who run away aren’t worth the trouble of pretending.

Your Self-Worth

I've been reading Ayn Rand's classic, Atlas Shrugged. It's an interesting book because it discusses many tendencies we have as humans; some economical, some philosophical, philanthropical, and some emotional. But here's one that had me utterly captivated: the difference between inner cause and outer effect.

Why do we pursue certain goals? Because we have established in ourselves the desire to do so. I find myself diplomatically-inclined, interested in politics, and eager to travel. My inner desires determine my outward actions: pursuing an education with Patrick Henry College in International Policy and Politics. I have passion to lead and a heart for preserving purity; I have become a leader in the explorer program and I surround myself with girls seeking direction and help. Cause. Effect. Desire. Action. Obvious, right?

Well, what happens when we reverse the two? What happens when the inner cause no longer determines bodily action; rather, it is bodily action that attempts to attain some sort of inner desire? I can tell you what happens -- a mess. A mess that resembles today's society to incredible precision. Teenagers no longer look to themselves or to a Higher-Source to determine their self-esteem. Instead, society encourages us to seek money, relationships, sexual activities, and addictions in order to determine our self-worth. Our actions begin to determine our inner elements. Girls no longer establish within themselves their value and pursue purity and righteousness because they deserve it -- they pursue boys and relationships to indicate their value and to see what they deserve. It's cause and effect reversed. Boys no longer view themselves as fighters, as protectors of what is right; they don't believe they have what it takes to stay clean, morally upright, and courageous. So, they fight, lie, curse, and revel in pornography and sensual behavior to tell them who they are and to determine their masculinity. The perspective has changed. We no longer look to our hearts, our minds, our intellect, our God to tell us who we already are and what we should become. No. We look to the world and ask what we should do in order to become someone -- to discover who we are.

Where does that leave us? "No, I won't go to college because I won't succeed." "No, I won't make a life-time commitment because I will fail." "No, I won't maintain my purity because it doesn't mean anything." "No, I won't give up pornography because it tells me I'm a man." "No, I won't strive for honesty because I'm not strong enough to face the truth." Since when did humanity fall to the dictatorship of dead-ends? When did we allow ourselves to be bound by what we do instead of what we want? I can tell you: the moment we exchange who God says we are for the results of our actions...The moment we act to determine our worth instead of letting our worth determine our actions.

· Ephesians one:

· You are a saint

· You are blessed with every spiritual blessing

· You are chosen by God

· You are holy

· You are blameless

· You are loved

· You have been given grace

· You are redeemed

· You are forgiven

· You have been lavished with riches

· You have been given a purpose

· You are marked with His everlasting seal.

Let it be these things that determine your actions. Let these be the cause, the drive behind all you do