If Hearts Had Faces

There's nothing quite as relaxing on a Monday as sipping a cup of tea while sitting in the garden and enjoying the summer sun. But what makes this Monday even better is that I'm still in my pajamas. Hair up. Makeup off. And it's almost 1 o'clock in the afternoon. Normally, I'd be out the door by 8 o'clock in the morning, drinking coffee while racing through the California traffic to get to work. On those mornings, I'm in high-heels and a pencil-skirt. Hair done. Makeup on. But not this morning. This Monday is different -- I'm just me.

As creatures of vanity we often enslave ourselves to the never-ending task of covering up our flaws. It's a thankless job, really. I can walk into the store after work wearing business attire and I receive suspicious glances and flat-out glares. Most commonly, I receive the critical 'once-over' from other women. Yes, I suppose I look like I am trying too hard, like I spend too much time doing my hair (and in all honesty, I probably do...). But then sometimes I just throw on sweats and flip-flips: you know, the cliche image, "sweats, not skinny jeans; hoodies, not tank-tops; messy hairstyle, no makeup." It's an image that society has promoted over and over again in order to rediscover authenticity. But even then, I receive the raised eye-brows and the glances of disapproval. It's a lose-lose game that we play -- vanity always is. No matter how much effort we invest into our physical appearance (whether to look pretty or down-to-earth) we fail to achieve a universally accepted image of "beauty." Like I said, it's a thankless job.

Vain investments into physical appearance have very little to do with beauty. And vain attempts to down-play physical appearance has very little to do with authenticity. Whether high-heels and makeup or flip-flops and messy buns, the erroneous assumption in both approaches is that the physical image is definitive of the person. In either case, we can manipulate our appearance to portray a certain image -- to showcase something we think is desirable. But does someone's physical appearance determine personality, does it define character, can it reveal the inner-depths of someone's heart? The answer is no, it doesn't. It can't. Our physical image can never serve as an honest portrayal of who we really are...And perhaps we should be thankful for that. 

My inner pragmatist has always valued Margaret Thatcher's statement, "to wear one's heart on one's sleeve is never a good idea. One should wear it inside where it functions best." Humans naturally keep issues of the heart tucked away; as creatures of vanity, we desire to hide the imperfections embedded in our nature. But, perhaps, the very idea of hiding away our hearts and its problems is replacing the idea of searching out our hearts and finding a cure for its ailments. And yes, your heart is desperately sick: "The heart is deceitful above all things; who can understand it?" "From within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, and foolishness. All these evils come from within a defile a person" (Jeremiah 17:9; Mark 7:21-31). Imagine wearing that on your sleeve...

Imagine if you could no longer hide behind the impenetrable veil of human skin. What if you had no other option but to walk around inside-out? What if every face was the face of the heart? Everyone could see everyone else for what they truly are -- defiled. No hiding. No possible way to conceal the sins that disease and deform. If hearts had faces, no smile, no personality, no beauty could veil the brokenness of the human condition. No physical perfection could cover the degradation of the human heart. Every evil thought, every sexual weakness, every foolish game, every mask of vanity exposed and shattered. 

Our hearts bear blemishes that cannot be hidden. So, I question myself: what if I all I had to face in the mirror was my soul; what if all I could wear was my heart on my sleeve? With every physical barrier removed, you are forced to examine yourself with brutal honesty. When we face our hearts, we are forced to see what is truly there: Sin. 


If it's any comfort, the sinful condition is absolutely authentic. It's real. There's nothing fake about it. It's definitely not a false front...But it's definitely not beautiful.


So, vanity - the man-made pursuit of beauty - is a delusion of ideals; it is a fruitless investment. Vanity leads to a battle in which there can never be a victory. Why? Because as I fight for a certain physical image I am enslaved to a life-long fight of fantasy, dishonesty, and idolatry. I am denying the malady of my heart and the reality of my spiritual condition. And while I strive to achieve the qualities of an outward appearance, I am refusing to acknowledge the one thing that matters to my Creator -- my heart. While we invest, evaluate, and judge based on physicality, God invests, evaluates, and judges us based on our hearts. "The Lord does not look at the things man does. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart" (1 Samuel 16:7). So in the pursuit of vanity there is an absolute absence of God -- of truth, and of reality. Vanity denies the values and qualities that are precious to God. Simply put, it is man's attempt to reach a state of godliness while denying a state of sinfulness. It is a counterfeit for true beauty.

While we judge one another for physical imperfections and condemn one another for character flaws, God offers us redemption. He sees the broken heart, its deformity and its disease. He sees the sin that ravages us and leaves us bruised and scarred. We are not creatures of beauty -- yet the Creator sees us a creatures worth saving. God says, "I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols. I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh" (Ezekiel 36: 24 -26). A beautiful heart is God's gift, not something we can achieve.


To describe it in girls' terms: What if, instead of choosing from an array of makeup and clothing, we had to wear our character? What if, instead of maturing into the graceful figure of a woman, we were formed by the moral decisions we have made?...Then beauty would be a hopeless endeavor. But what if we accepted God's gift of redemption and purification? What would a heart look like completely covered by His grace?    


So, as I sit here sipping my fifth cup of tea, I can't help but wonder what I would see if every heart had a face...


"Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me" (Psalm 51:10).